During The War... Run over an opponent’s fallen body, adding insult to an already pretty painful injury. You monster. | Run over an opponent’s fallen body, adding insult to an already pretty painful injury. You monster. |
My Kart Is Augmented Buy an upgrade. Good thing you old types like a bit of DIY, eh? | Buy an upgrade. Good thing you old types like a bit of DIY, eh? |
GrimAced Win your first race, proving that old people everywhere actually can drive at a moderate pace. | Win your first race, proving that old people everywhere actually can drive at a moderate pace. |
Batteries not Included Get taken out by a UFO laser, more than a close encounter. | Get taken out by a UFO laser, more than a close encounter. |
We Can Rebuild Him Fully upgrade a single kart aspect, putting the younger generation and their custom cars to shame with your far superior experience in craftsmanship. | Fully upgrade a single kart aspect, putting the younger generation and their custom cars to shame with your far superior experience in craftsmanship. |
Gone In Many Seconds Boost without hurtling far off course and crashing too horribly into the scenery 20 times. | Boost without hurtling far off course and crashing too horribly into the scenery 20 times. |
Am I Missing An Eyebrow? Expertly explode 20 pensioners with the use of a rocket, causing mass havoc and outcry from the Royal Aeronautical Society. | Expertly explode 20 pensioners with the use of a rocket, causing mass havoc and outcry from the Royal Aeronautical Society. |
Technophobic Use an EMP 20 times successfully - who says old people can’t use technology? You do, apparently. | Use an EMP 20 times successfully - who says old people can’t use technology? You do, apparently. |
Feeling Lucky? Hose 20 oldies with the Uzi. The world’s slowest police chase is going to star you, you criminal. | Hose 20 oldies with the Uzi. The world’s slowest police chase is going to star you, you criminal. |
Silver Surfer Take your online points total past 10, proving that old people and the Internet isn’t a disaster waiting to happen. | Take your online points total past 10, proving that old people and the Internet isn’t a disaster waiting to happen. |
Luckily My Shield Will Protect Me Successfully use a shield to block 20 horrible whippersnapper’s attacks against your innocent old self. | Successfully use a shield to block 20 horrible whippersnapper’s attacks against your innocent old self. |
Death Defier Get gold in all races in the village, telling Grim he’s not having your soul tonight. | Get gold in all races in the village, telling Grim he’s not having your soul tonight. |
Casting your net Win a single network multiplayer race, your first step to world domination. | Win a single network multiplayer race, your first step to world domination. |
Slick Moves Like Jagger Slip up 20 people’s Sunday drive with some oil, making you no better than the young’ins who litter, you hypocrite. | Slip up 20 people’s Sunday drive with some oil, making you no better than the young’ins who litter, you hypocrite. |
Death Derider Get gold in all races in the town, insulting Grim’s efficiency by evading his grasp twice now. | Get gold in all races in the town, insulting Grim’s efficiency by evading his grasp twice now. |
Worldly Wise Whiz Amass over 50 points online, it’s what Tim Berners-Lee would have wanted. | Amass over 50 points online, it’s what Tim Berners-Lee would have wanted. |
Death Decider Get gold in all races in the showdown, winning your fate and telling Grim to stop harassing old people all over the world. | Get gold in all races in the showdown, winning your fate and telling Grim to stop harassing old people all over the world. |
Death Despiser Get gold in all races in the farm, making Grim REALLY want your soul now. | Get gold in all races in the farm, making Grim REALLY want your soul now. |
Sweep Get 1 Crazy Granddad item. You are cleaning up this town. Somebody has to. You’re just doing it really slowly. | Get 1 Crazy Granddad item. You are cleaning up this town. Somebody has to. You’re just doing it really slowly. |
Million Dollar Granddad Fully upgrade your kart, showing your grandkids the money they could have had if they were nicer. | Fully upgrade your kart, showing your grandkids the money they could have had if they were nicer. |
Death Defiler Get gold in all races in the graveyard, ruining Grim’s happy place. | Get gold in all races in the graveyard, ruining Grim’s happy place. |
Disco Driving Catch that Saturday Night Fever by winning a network race on a Saturday. | Catch that Saturday Night Fever by winning a network race on a Saturday. |
No rest for the wicked Why rest when you could be earning achievements. Win a network race on a Sunday. | Why rest when you could be earning achievements. Win a network race on a Sunday. |
A Manic Monday Add to the mayhem by winning a network race on a Monday. | Add to the mayhem by winning a network race on a Monday. |
Jason goes to Sunny Pines Win a network race on a Friday. Just avoid going down by the lake if you can. | Win a network race on a Friday. Just avoid going down by the lake if you can. |
A Quiet Night In Get the blow-up doll in the crazy Granddad game mode for an evening of pleasure with your very own plastic friend. | Get the blow-up doll in the crazy Granddad game mode for an evening of pleasure with your very own plastic friend. |
Tuesday’s child Put your graceful driving to good use by winning a network race on a Tuesday. | Put your graceful driving to good use by winning a network race on a Tuesday. |
Paperboy The Hard Way Run over 5 bikers. We know that drivers hate them, but you’re in mobility scooters! That’s just nasty. | Run over 5 bikers. We know that drivers hate them, but you’re in mobility scooters! That’s just nasty. |
Over the hump Win a network race on a Wednesday. Then celebrate by visiting the most duck filled pond you ever sat by. | Win a network race on a Wednesday. Then celebrate by visiting the most duck filled pond you ever sat by. |
Thor's Day Impress the mighty Thor with a network race victory on a Thursday. | Impress the mighty Thor with a network race victory on a Thursday. |
Double, double toil and trouble Get a Snatch Item pair for double points and bragging rights down at the bingo club. | Get a Snatch Item pair for double points and bragging rights down at the bingo club. |
Snatch me if you can Snatch an item off an opponent in Snatch game mode. What has society come to! | Snatch an item off an opponent in Snatch game mode. What has society come to! |
He Was A Skater Boy Keyword being was. Knock 5 skaters off the road. | Keyword being was. Knock 5 skaters off the road. |
Week Minded You're an all rounder. Win a network race on each day of the week.. | You're an all rounder. Win a network race on each day of the week.. |
Trick or Treat Add insult to injury by winning a network race on Halloween, Grim’s favourite day of the year. | Add insult to injury by winning a network race on Halloween, Grim’s favourite day of the year. |
You Old Romantic Win a network race on Valentine’s Day and dedicate this achievement to that special someone. | Win a network race on Valentine’s Day and dedicate this achievement to that special someone. |
Christmas Truce? Not a chance, take out your opponents and win a network race on Christmas day. | Not a chance, take out your opponents and win a network race on Christmas day. |